Issue 7: Creating meaningful conversations

Welcome to your leadership newsletter! Each month, we’ll explore a different area of leadership together. I’ll share some of my own experiences, the experience and learning from others and links to some things you may enjoy.

This month, I’ve been inspired by the quote below. So let’s explore how to create meaningful moments in every conversation you have.

How often in supervisions, meetings and moments together with others do we leave things unsaid?

How often do you think in a meeting that you don’t quite understand, but can’t possibly ask the question again, so you leave it unspoken? How often have you begun supervising someone with a warning of ‘they’re a nightmare’ but no one else has ever had a direct conversation with the person? How often do you think things when you’re speaking with someone else, but never vocalise them?

We all do it. Sure, there are moments to share your inner thoughts and others where they’re best kept to yourself. But there are also many moments where voicing something would be useful to the conversation, relationship or moment.

So what holds us back? Maybe we’re afraid of how the other person will respond. Maybe we’re feeling unsure of ourselves and doubt is creeping in. Maybe we’re trying to collect our thoughts in the moment and then the moment passes us by.

Megan Reitz talks through 3 traps and the 5 W’s to help you speak up more effectively. Check it out here.

What’s your role in creating meaningful supervision?

Do you start each supervisory relationship with a conversation about the conversations you’re about to have? It’s important that we give time and space to get to know our supervisee and for them to get to know us. What has their previous experience of supervision been? What do they want to get out of supervision? Is there anything they find challenging about supervision? What about your social graces and what that means for the conversations you’re about to have and the lens you’re both looking through?

It’s so easy in such a fast paced, busy environment, to just ‘crack on’ and move into doing, but by investing in setting the tone, setting up a supervision agreement and exploring what you’re both bringing into the conversations, supervision will be more meaningful for you both.

Research in Practice has a great toolkit for reflective supervision that I often turned to when I was in practice. Check it out here.

What is being co-created together?

It’s important to remember that in every interaction, everyone is bringing their own stuff. People are bringing their previous experiences of communication or interactions maybe with someone who looks like you or has the same role as you. You’re both bringing your own template of communication which may compliment each other or may feel like they clash or are talking at cross purposes.

Coordinated Management of Meaning is a theory that can help us make sense of what is being co-created in our interactions. If you’re interested in reading more, you can take a look at some articles here and here.

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